Living Bigger than Ourselves...

I have never questioned my calling of being a stay at home mom. During my pregnancy, I often verbally left the option of returning to teaching open, however I knew it my heart, the decision was already made from the start. Growing up, my mom was able to stay home with us and I grew up assuming that's what you do when you grow up! Even though I had such a passion for teaching, and working with kids, my passion for being with this little girl that grew inside of me was something so much greater... something that can't be explained. I was choosing between two things that I loved-- but felt like I, personally, couldn't do them both well at the same time.

So even though I have never questioned my calling... I have questioned how well I am living out my calling... Yesterday during our sermon on our True Valentine... (which will be for another post...) I was overwhelmed with EVERYTHING that My Savior does for us... for ME. I feel that when I was teaching, I was facing a challenge everyday that seemed bigger than me. I knew that I needed God's strength and love to be working through me to finish the day feeling like it was a success. Therefore, every morning I committed my day and focused my day knowing that I absolutely NEEDED him. Some mornings I cried, begging Him to meet me there, knowing that I would fall flat if he didn't. He never failed....

Now that I am home, I absolutely have days where I call out to Him for patience that I can only have through Him, when I feel like I am going to go crazy if Sienna whines, screams, or cries one more time, but I feel ashamed at how complacent I have become since I have not faced the daily struggles and battles of teaching that made me rely on my Great God to overcome each challenge. It is so true that you grow most in the valleys.

I have had overwhelming feelings of wanting to do something way bigger than myself. Impacting students' lives, spending time in an African orphanage.. the list goes on. I sometimes feel like I need to DO more as a stay at home mom to impact His Kingdom. Justin reminded me that during this season... my "doing" may play out by being a constant prayer warrior for family, friends, and for those things that are SO heavy on my heart. I know that my greatest job right now is to daily recognize my dependence on Christ, support, pray for, & love my husband, and teach my daughter the sweet saving grace of Jesus...while dwelling in His Amazing Grace.

This is a poem that we were given at MOTTTS... many of you have probably seen it. But it is awesome to read to refocus and reaffirm how great of a calling it is!

Continue On

A woman once fretted over the usefulness of her life.

She feared she was wasting her potential being a devoted wife and mother.

She wondered if the time and energy she invested in her husband

and children would make a difference.

At times she got discouraged because so much of what she did

seemed to go unnoticed and unappreciated.

" Is it worth it?" she often wondered.

"Is there something better that I could be doing with my time?"

It was during one of these moments of questioning that she heard

the still small voice of her Heavenly Father speak to her heart.

" You are a wife and mother because that is what I have called you to be.

Much of what you do is hidden from the public eye.

But I notice.

Most of what you give is done without remuneration.

But I am your reward.

Your husband cannot be the man I have called him to be withour your support.

Your influence upon him is greater than you think

and more powerful than you will ever know.

I bless him through your service and honor him through your love.

Your children are precious to me.

Even more precious than they are to you.

I have entrusted them to your care to raise for me.

What you invest in them is an offering to me.

You may never be in the public spotlight.

But your obedience shines as a bright light before me.

Continue on.

Remember you are My servant.

So do all to please me."

By Roy Lessin